“Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey is hands down one of the best self-help books ever written. The following is the gist of the seven habits that I found very useful. Hope this helps.
The first three habits focus on building clarity on the self and bringing that clarity to your day-to-day actions through self-mastery. Habits 4, 5, and 6 include the way towards public victory and how to be an effective human being. The seventh habit focuses on continuous growth and improvement and embodies all the other habits.
“If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.”
― Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Way to independence
Be Proactive – Why is being proactive the first of the seven habits? Life unfolds in cycles, with highs and lows, and our minds are wired to seek pleasure and comfort. However, being proactive means putting our thinking brain in the back seat and bringing our acting brain to the forefront. This involves using imagination and inspiration to make conscious efforts towards taking action, rather than relying on past data sets. By doing so, we expand our lives.
Begin with the end in mind– An effective goal provides a clear idea of where we want to be, or the end state. This helps our mind prioritize in a structured way because we have a clear end goal in mind. When setting goals, it’s important to ensure they are for you, by you. Sometimes we unconsciously borrow goals that society wants us to achieve, instead of setting goals that align with our own desires. Reflecting on whether the end state of a goal connects with you is crucial. Identifying the different roles we embody in life and envisioning the ideal state for each role can help us work towards achieving those goals. Writing a personal mission statement specific to each role can bring clarity to day-to-day actions and help us modify any actions that are not in alignment with our goals. This awakens your imagination and inspiration to achieve your goals in magnificent ways.
Put first things first. What is the one thing that you are not currently doing that could make a tremendous difference in your life? This question is meant to encourage self-reflection and identify areas for personal growth. The third habit is designed to increase our awareness of what is important and ensure that we prioritize it accordingly. The way we view and use our time determines our priorities.
So, how can we organize and execute around our priorities? The author suggests taking weekly time to identify priorities and set goals. For example, if there is an area of our life that we want to improve, we need to first identify why our performance in that area is low. There could be three possible reasons for this: lack of knowledge or skills, lack of desire or motivation, or external factors beyond our control. By understanding the underlying cause, we can then develop a plan to address it and improve our performance in that area.
The reason many of us are not accomplishing what we want to achieve is because we don’t know what our priorities are and don’t start with the end in mind. It may not be due the lack of self -discipline alone as many may perceive. By Writing and reviewing a personal statement that reminds you of what you are striving towards and also this will help to set your priorities. Through writing a personal mission statement there is more coherence, i.e. the harmony between your vision and mission, your roles and goals, your priorities and plans. The main suggestion to set priorities right is to plan on a weekly basis and while planning list down each of the roles you plan and the results you wish to see at the end of the week.
Public Victory and interdependence
The best ingredient we bring to any relationship is not what we do or what we say but who we are. As we focus on habits 1, 2, and 3, we develop a strong foundation for who we are. Now comes the concept of the emotional bank account, which is a metaphor used to indicate the attention and effort we put into any relationship. We make daily deposits to build any relationship through courtesy, kindness, and honesty and build trust for the relationship to sustain. For interdependence a strong emotional bank account is necessary and the following habits are focused on strengthening the same.
4. Think Win-win– The concept of thinking win-win is based on the idea that everyone can benefit from a situation without one person gaining at the expense of others. It promotes a healthy interdependence where all parties can succeed together. Unfortunately, many of us are conditioned to believe that life is a competition where one must win and others must lose. By adopting a win-win mentality, we can expand our minds and approach situations differently.
It’s important to note that sometimes a win-win agreement may not be possible, and in those situations, it’s better to opt for no deal rather than a win-lose outcome. For instance, in a family setting where different individuals want to watch different TV programs, it may be challenging to find a compromise that benefits everyone. In such a case, it may be better to agree on a different activity altogether.
To effectively execute win-win thinking, one needs to be empathetic, confident, and tough when necessary. By embracing this approach, we can create stronger relationships, improve communication, and achieve greater success in all areas of our lives.
5.Seek first to understand then to be understood- Effective communication is essential for expanding our social circles, and a crucial aspect of communication is active listening. Instead of simply waiting for our turn to respond, we should strive to seek first to understand in any situation. This habit helps us to connect with people on a deeper level and offer genuine support or solutions.
Many of us are eager to demonstrate our expertise by offering the best answer as quickly as possible. However, if we do not take the time to understand the situation from the other person’s perspective, we may miss important details or fail to provide the most helpful response.
Learning to listen with the intention of understanding is key to building genuine connections with others. By actively listening, we demonstrate that we value the other person’s thoughts and feelings, which can strengthen our relationships and create a more positive social dynamic. When we seek to understand first, we are better able to offer support, collaborate effectively, and work towards mutually beneficial solutions.
In short, developing the habit of active listening is crucial for effective communication and building meaningful connections with others. By prioritizing understanding over our own desire to respond, we can create stronger relationships and foster a more supportive, collaborative social network.
6.Synergize The word “synergy” refers to a mutually advantageous conjunction, where one plus one equals more than two. The fourth and fifth habits help us become more empathetic and connect with others in a more genuine way. When we collaborate with others towards a greater cause using win-win thinking, we create positive synergy.
Synergizing allows for interdependence and effective collaboration towards a common goal. It involves bringing together people with different strengths and abilities to achieve a greater outcome than what could be accomplished individually. When we work together with others, we can achieve more than we ever could on our own.
7.Sharpen the Saw : The final habit is focused on the importance of renewing and refreshing our potentials on physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and social levels. There are various fulfilling and creative ways to approach this habit, and our goal is to identify a few habits that are easy and overlap between these levels.
Examples of such habits include exercising, meditating, spending time in nature, engaging in creative expression, and nurturing social connections through various activities.
Regular physical activity, such as exercising, not only improves our physical health but also boosts our mental and emotional well-being. Similarly, meditation can help us become more mindful, reducing stress and anxiety, while improving mental clarity and emotional stability.
Spending time in nature can be a powerful way to refresh and renew ourselves on multiple levels, reducing stress and anxiety, improving mood and cognitive function, and even boosting immune function.
Engaging in creative activities, such as writing, painting, or playing music, can help us tap into our emotional and spiritual selves, while providing a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. Creative expression can also be a form of stress relief and self-expression, allowing us to process and release difficult emotions.
Finally, social connection, spending time with loved ones, building meaningful relationships, and participating in social activities, can be a powerful way to renew and refresh ourselves emotionally and spiritually, providing a sense of purpose and belonging.
Incorporating these habits into our daily routine can help us renew and refresh ourselves on physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social levels, promoting overall well-being and a healthier, happier life.
Thoughts of Freedom 